hay maybe this is still my randomness (again)..............

haaaaah.....let's see what happen again?

yeaaaah for sure, i came back again here just for to screamed my feeling that's very very very heavy.
yeah you know? why my heart always feel so heavy. not just today, but i think everyday.
you know? i think i can't take this anymore, i can't do it anymore. i think i haven't enough capability, but yeah some people will always say that i can. as you know that who is know about my self is just me, not someone or anyone.

i just can't say NO. espessialy to my mom. but she can really don't understand about myself. mom really don't know about my hurt that i felt. sometimes i just really dissapointed, maybe to myself or not. i don't know. sometimes i really want to scream really loud. sometimes i feel i want to dissapear. but i can't. i really can't, and it is just let some hole and pain in my heart. my heart really so pain. it is so hard. sometimes i just want to give up/ but one again. I can't.